Fuck the Feelings, Follow the Plan – Staying Focused on Your Goals and Manifestations When Your Inner World is Falling Apart

When you try to change anything about yourself or your life, the biggest obstacle standing in your way is You. Unfortunately. Every time I have tried to build a new habit, tried to change a personality trait, or applied for a job or a scholarship I really wanted, I have been my own worst enemy. Or at least my brain has. I won’t be surprised if that’s true for you as well. Scratch that. I know for a fact that that’s true for you as well. Emotions like fear, feeling inadequate, or thoughts like, “Yeah, I just start things but never finish them”, or “The smartest minds from around the world are applying for this scholarship, why would they give it to me?” creep up and sabotage you. 

In fact this kind of self sabotage is such a well known phenomenon, that businesses count on it and capitalize on it. Think of all the new year deals businesses, for example gyms, come up with. Because they can ride the new year resolutions wave and sell annual memberships, while a good chunk of the members will drop off by March, if not February. 

In fact, I am writing this post as I am plagued by fear and anxious negative thoughts, because I am currently in the middle of a job hunt, and I am terrified of what might happen if I don’t get the job. The fact that I have received like 10 rejection letters this week, has not helped. Yikes!

So as you can imagine, I am a little in my head right now, trying to fight my negative thoughts. 

Fortunately, I quite recently came across this mantra during one of my Tiktok doomscrolls – “Fuck the Feelings, Follow the Plan”. 

Why you are stuck in your feels

Here’s the thing – 

Yes we are meant to align with the vibration of the universe, of our desired goal to actually get our desired goal. 

Yes, we are meant to be living in the end. 

Yes we are supposed to have the knowledge that what we desire already belongs to us. 

But this much is also true – We are human. 

On our good days, we might be vessels and conduits for the divine, but on our bad days – and boy do the bad days insist on existing – on our bad days, we are simply human. Or worse, we are human shaped balls of anxiety, fear, depression, and executive dysfunction. 

On days like these, let this be your mantra – FUCK THE FEELINGS, FOLLOW THE PLAN. 

If you’re rolling your eyes right now, and thinking to yourself, you might as well have posted the Nike slogan on this page and called it a day – JUST DO IT! 

If that’s where your brain is at, stay with me just a little longer. 

I know firsthand the ridiculousness of Just-Do-It-esque statements when all you want to do is curl up under your blanket and doomscroll on social media, because executive dysfunction got you good, and even the thought of sitting up straight feels like a monumental initiative. There are days when I am lying in my bed, and the burden of simply existing is too much to bear. 

And I will give you my handpicked tools to battle this. Right after I take a bit of a deeper dive into why our brains pull this self sabotage move on us. 

If you have ADHD, any other kind of neurodivergence, or struggle with mental health in general, the answer can quite simply be just that. Your brain is wired to act this way. And when you are trying to change a habit, or achieve a goal, on some level you are trying to undo this wiring and create new neural pathways. 

This bit is also true even if you do not have any significant mental health struggles or have to live with neurodivergence. Your brain is wired a certain way, and it likes it like that, and wants to keep it as it is. It doesn’t want its work to have been for nothing. Imagine telling a highway engineer, yeah this highway that you put your blood, sweat, and tears into building, we just don’t want it anymore. Doesn’t align with our new priorities. Get to work and make a new one. Oh, and you’re not getting paid any extra to do it. In fact, why don’t you chip in some? To this engineer, that’s an absurd, unreasonable, and downright cruel request. Same goes for your brain.

Breaking the habit being yourself and taking the big leap

Your brain doesn’t want to undo all the work it has put in and destroy these already established perfectly functional neural pathways and create new ones just because one fine morning you woke up and decided, “You know what? I’m going to be the kind of person who wakes up at 5AM everyday. I will be the newest member of the 5AM club!” It’s going to try to convince you that waking up at 1PM on weekends is perfectly reasonable. That you have worked hard enough all week, and you deserve this rest. That, of course your body needs rest, otherwise you will burn out. Surely you don’t want to burn out? 

Burn out is very real. 

That being said, your brain convincing you that you are burning out or getting sick every time you try to do something new is also very real. 

If you have been victimized by your brain this way, may I recommend the book “The Big Leap” by Gay Hendricks. He delves into how your brain will literally sabotage you when you try to make a big leap from your current miserable life to your desired abundant and happy life. Especially once you are close to achieving your goals, close to getting your manifestations, once you hit the “upper limit” of your current existence, your brain will convince you that this is too good to be true. 

Change is not easy. 

Because you are literally breaking the habit of being yourself, and you have known only how to be yourself in all the years you have existed. 

Your brain and body like to cling to familiar feelings. Even if those familiar feelings are pain, misery, and fear. 

It quite literally functions like an addict.

In his book “Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself”, Joe Dispenza writes:

When we try to regain control, this is when the body signals the brain to begin talking us out of our conscious goals. Our internal chatter comes up with a battery of reasons why we should not attempt to do anything out of the ordinary, not break out of the habituated state of being that we are used to. It will pick up all of our weaknesses, which it knows and fosters, and hurl them at us one by one. 

We create worst-case scenarios in our minds so we don’t have to rise above those familiar feelings. Because when we try to break the internal chemical order we have made so second nature, the body goes into chaos.

You may think that working on building your own business for 3 hours everyday after your 9-5 is extremely stressful and will quickly lead to burnout. Your body and mind start to go into chaos. But. Your threshold for burnout is not set in stone. Your capacity for handling stress and juggling multiple things on your plate is not set in stone. In his book The Big Leap, Gay Hendricks says:

If I cling to the notion that something’s not possible, I’m arguing in favor of limitation. And if I argue for my limitations, I get to keep them 

But you really don’t have to keep them. 

YOU GET TO DECIDE HOW MUCH TIME AND EFFORT CAN YOU PUT IN WITHOUT BURNING OUT. 

YOU GET TO DECIDE YOUR CAPACITY FOR GOING AFTER THINGS YOU WANT. 

YOU GET TO DECIDE TO BECOME 1% BETTER EVERY SINGLE DAY. 

Most importantly,

YOU GET TO DECIDE THAT YOU CAN FUCK THE FEELINGS AND FOLLOW THE PLAN. 

Now that we have established why your brain and body are conspiring to keep you exactly where you are, let’s talk about how to break free of their ploy, and keep going regardless of what feelings may come up.

The tools to help you Fuck the Feelings, and Follow the Plan

1. Know that your feelings aren’t necessarily true. 

Like T Harv Ecker says, don’t believe a thought you think. Your thoughts aren’t core to your being. This is imperative to remember. You are not necessarily who you think you are, who your conditioning, experiences, and preconceived notions lead you to think you are. You are who you choose to be. Harry could have easily been a Slytherin. But he chose to be a Gryffindor. 

And you can choose to be the person who has a solid morning routine, even when your current train of thought is “But I’m not even a morning person!” This is such a crucial mindset shift that helps you change your self concept and see yourself as the person you aspire to be. I highly recommend that you read the books Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself and The Big Leap, because they really dive deep into the process of changing who you are. 

2. Meditation and Breathwork

Stop it, I can see you rolling your eyes! Yes, it’s a cliche suggestion, but it’s cliche for a reason. Meditation actually does help. If you’re currently on the but-I can’t-get-my-mind-to-shut-up-and-focus train, and that’s your excuse to not meditate, stop that too. 

Because it doesn’t need to be that complicated. If clearing your mind is difficult for you, simply learn to observe your thoughts rather than getting carried away by them. Sit down, close your eyes, exhale all the air you have sitting in your lungs, and focus on breathing slowly and deeply. Whenever you start thinking a thought, don’t attach any judgment or emotion to it. Simply observe it – oh look at that, I’m having a thought. And then bring your attention back to your breath.

 

It doesn’t matter how many times and how frequently you keep having thoughts. Just smile and bring your focus back to your breathing. It’s not an exam. It’s not a race. You don’t get any medals for having the least number of thoughts out of all the meditators in a ten mile radius. It’s simply a practice. If the frequency of thoughts you’re having start to frustrate you, simply observe that emotion – ah looks like I am experiencing some frustration. That’s just my brain trying to sabotage me. Smile and return your focus to your breath. 

It really does get to be as simple as that. Nothing fancy. Just breathe. 

You can definitely get a guided meditation track to help you. You can use one of the countless meditation apps out there. My personal favorite is Insight Timer. 

I also recommend that you check out the Breathe with Sandy channel on YouTube for breathwork practices for different purposes. His breathwork sessions on anxiety and depression are my go-tos. 

3. Robotic Affirmations

This one has been a complete game changer for me. In my opinion it is an absolute essential tool for changing your self concept. I was introduced to this concept by Bobbi from the House of Highbrations channel on YouTube, and I definitely recommend you check her out. 

In the past I would stop doing my affirmations if my brain was resisting them by telling me they are not true. I would believe my brain and convince myself that they are indeed not working, and eventually I would stop. 

The concept of robotic affirmations was life changing for me because it freed me from the burden of having to consciously believe my affirmations and having to feel them. Now I simply repeat them in my brain like a parrot, and it has led me to believe my affirmations far more than me trying to force myself to *feel* and *believe* my affirmations consciously. Now I just let my subconscious do the work.

Change how you speak to yourself. It will change who you are. 

4. Move Your Body

Get up and dance. Just get on your feet and roll out your yoga mat. Put on your boots and go for a walk. 

IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE COMPLICATED. 

IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE INTENSE. 

Just move your body in a way that’s easy and fun. 

I am currently making it a point to move my body everyday even if it’s just for 2-3 minutes. I could play one of my hype songs and just dance badly to it. I could roll out my yoga mat and simply do a couple of cat-cows and call it a day. 

This way I am training myself to show up everyday. 

The more I show up, the more I graduate to harder workouts.

And once you have moved your body, sit down with your to-do list for the day that will help you get closer to the person you are committing to become. 

Start with the quickest and easiest thing on the list. Take it from there. 

5. Stop giving yourself a day zero

I’ve borrowed this from a YouTube video by Pick Up Limes on building micro habits. In the video she talks about how we always tend to self sabotage by telling ourselves, “I’m starting this from tomorrow”. I’m joining the gym from tomorrow. I am starting the diet tomorrow. I start working on my business from tomorrow. 

Stop with the tomorrow. No more Day 0. Today is Day 1. 

Take action today. 

Take action today, even if it is the tiniest token of an action. 

Your capacity for taking action will grow as you keep showing up, and keep taking tiny actions.  

6. Don’t make falling off the wagon mean anything about you. 

You are going to fall off that wagon. There will be days (or weeks or even months) when you have done absolutely nothing to progress toward your goals and manifestations. 

Don’t attach meaning to it. 

I used to do this all the time, and still do it sometimes. But less and less lately. 

Every time I fell off the wagon and found myself not having made any progress for a while, my train of thoughts would start to sound something like – 

I just can’t be consistent. I start things all the time, but I don’t finish them. I lack the discipline to do this. I’ll never catch up with all these successful people because I’m just not disciplined and focused like they are. Maybe I’m just not meant to be successful at anything. Maybe I’m just a mediocre person who will live and die a mediocre existence

Does your brain do that too? 

Remember what I said earlier – Your thoughts aren’t necessarily the truth. 

You are not mediocre. Mediocrity is a choice you’re making at the behest of your brain and body because that is what is familiar to them, and they have no intentions of sailing into uncharted territories. 

You get to DECIDE what you are.

Change how you speak to yourself. Change who you are. 

If you’re still with me, congratulations. You have already demonstrated remarkable focus. You definitely got this. 

Now get started on your adventure. 

Fuck the feelings. Follow the plan. 

How 5000 Wishes Can Unlock Your Abundant Life

Imagine this: you have a magic wand, and every wish you make will come true. No limits. No barriers. Just pure, unfiltered possibility. What would you wish for? How many wishes could you dream up? Now, imagine stretching that magic wand to 5000 wishes—yes, 5000! This isn’t just a whimsical game; it’s a life-changing challenge straight from David Cameron Gikandi’s transformative book, Happy Pocket Full of Money.

By the way, if you have not read the book, I highly highly recommend it. I have read several other money mindset books so far, but nothing has gone into as much detail and depth as this one. Get the book here.

The 5000 Wishes Exercise isn’t about practicality or restraint; it’s about unleashing your imagination and aligning with abundance in its truest form. It’s exhilarating, mind-expanding, and surprisingly transformative.

Why Dream of 5000 Wishes?

5000 wishes might sound overwhelming or even ridiculous at first. But here’s the magic: the number forces you to break free from the small, everyday dreams you’re used to. It’s not just about asking for a bigger house or a better job (though those are great too!). This exercise takes you on a deep dive into the vast ocean of your desires, helping you uncover wishes you didn’t even know you had.

Here’s what happens when you dare to dream that big:

  1. You Rediscover Your True Self: Beyond the material, you’ll stumble upon wishes that reflect who you truly are—your passions, your values, your soul’s desires.
  2. You Smash the Walls of Scarcity: 5000 wishes leave no room for scarcity thinking. You’ll begin to see just how limitless the universe really is.
  3. You Supercharge Your Manifestation Power: When you focus on abundance this expansively, you’re not just writing down dreams—you’re planting seeds in the quantum field.

How to Dive Into the 5000 Wishes Exercise

Ready to explore your limitless potential? Here’s how you can start:

  1. Create Your Sacred Space: Find a cozy spot that inspires you. This is your time to dream—make it magical.
  2. Let the Obvious Flow First: Start with the wishes that come to mind easily. Don’t overthink; let your pen glide.
  3. Explore Every Corner of Your Life: What do you wish for in love? Adventure? Contribution? Creativity? Health? Think as big or as detailed as you like.
  4. Get Playful and Bold: Wish for things that feel impossible. A castle on the moon? Sure! Why not? This is about joy, not limits.
  5. Keep Adding Over Time: This isn’t a sprint. It’s a journey. Come back to your list whenever inspiration strikes.

The Vibrational Shift

As you write your wishes, something extraordinary happens. You start to feel the energy of abundance coursing through you. Your heart opens. Gratitude pours in. You realize how much beauty and possibility already surround you. And the best part? That energy doesn’t just stay on paper. It begins to ripple into your daily life, drawing opportunities and blessings your way.

Share the Magic

There’s something profoundly inspiring about sharing your dreams with others. Imagine the collective vibration we could create if we all dared to dream bigger. I’m diving into my 5000 wishes right now, and let me tell you—it’s electrifying! Will you join me on this journey?

So, what’s your first wish? Your hundredth? Your five-thousandth? Let’s lift the lid on possibility and dream the most extraordinary dreams together!

And if you’re still on the fence about getting the book – It’s an absolute treasure, and in my opinion, reading this cover to cover and implementing the lessons is just as effective (if not more so) that investing in a $2000 manifestation course.

Get the book here.

5 Books on Changing Your Habits That Are NOT Atomic Habits

Habits are the foundation of our daily lives, shaping our productivity, health, and happiness. While James Clear’s Atomic Habits has become a modern classic for its actionable insights, it’s far from the only book offering valuable strategies for habit change. If you’re ready to explore fresh perspectives, here are five books on habit transformation that deserve a spot on your reading list.

1. The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business by Charles Duhigg

This groundbreaking book takes readers on a journey into the science of habit formation. Duhigg explains the habit loop—a cycle of cue, routine, and reward—that governs much of our behavior. Armed with this knowledge, you can identify your triggers and reshape your habits.

Key Takeaways:

  • The role of the basal ganglia in forming habits.
  • How to replace harmful habits with positive ones using “keystone habits.”
  • Real-life examples from corporate giants like Starbucks and Alcoa.

Why You’ll Love It:

Duhigg’s engaging storytelling and practical advice make this a must-read for anyone wanting to understand the mechanics of habits at a personal and societal level. Get the book here.

2. Tiny Habits: The Small Changes That Change Everything by BJ Fogg

BJ Fogg, a behavioral scientist at Stanford, introduces a refreshing approach to habit change: start small. His Tiny Habits method is about celebrating tiny victories, like flossing one tooth or doing one push-up, to create momentum for bigger changes.

Key Takeaways:

  • Focus on anchor habits: tie new habits to existing routines.
  • Embrace the mantra “Emotions create habits,” emphasizing positive reinforcement.
  • A step-by-step guide to troubleshooting when habits don’t stick.

Why You’ll Love It:

This book is perfect for anyone who feels overwhelmed by the idea of massive change. Fogg’s approach is gentle yet effective, proving that even the tiniest changes can lead to remarkable results.

Get the book here.

3. Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol S. Dweck

While not explicitly about habits, Dweck’s exploration of the growth mindset is essential for understanding how to sustain new behaviors. By shifting from a fixed mindset (“I can’t do this”) to a growth mindset (“I’m learning to do this”), you unlock the mental flexibility needed for habit change.

Key Takeaways:

  • Fixed vs. Growth Mindset: How beliefs about your abilities influence your success.
  • The importance of reframing challenges as opportunities to grow.
  • How mindset impacts every aspect of life, from career to relationships.

Why You’ll Love It:

Mindset is a powerful read for anyone struggling with self-doubt or looking to build the mental resilience necessary for lasting habit change.

4. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change by Stephen R. Covey

This classic by Covey lays out a framework for achieving personal and professional success through intentional habit formation. Unlike other books that focus purely on behavior, Covey integrates principles of character and effectiveness.

Key Takeaways:

  • The distinction between proactive habits and reactive behaviors.
  • Prioritizing what’s truly important through Covey’s time management matrix.
  • A balanced approach to self-renewal (the “Sharpen the Saw” habit).

Why You’ll Love It:

Covey’s holistic perspective combines timeless wisdom with actionable advice. This book is especially valuable for those looking to align their habits with their core values and long-term goals.

Get the book here.

5. Make Your Bed: Little Things That Can Change Your Life…And Maybe the World by Admiral William H. McRaven

Drawing from his experiences as a Navy SEAL, McRaven highlights the profound impact of small, disciplined habits, beginning with something as simple as making your bed each morning. This book is a testament to the power of consistency and grit.

Key Takeaways:

  • Start your day with a small win by completing a simple task.
  • Embrace challenges as opportunities to grow stronger.
  • Focus on the little things that build resilience and discipline.

Why You’ll Love It:

At just over 100 pages, this book packs a punch. Its actionable advice and inspiring anecdotes make it a quick, motivating read.

Get the book here.

Conclusion

Changing your habits is the gateway to transforming your life. These five books, each with its unique approach, provide powerful insights into the psychology and practicality of habit formation. Whether you’re looking to start small, deepen your understanding of mindset, or embrace discipline, there’s a book here to inspire your journey.

So, which one will you start with?

5 Must Read Books on Goal Setting to Set Up 2025 to be Your Most Successful Year Yet

As we approach 2025, setting clear, actionable goals is essential for turning aspirations into achievements. There’s no shortage of resources on goal-setting, but not all are created equal. To help you start the year strong, I’ve ranked and reviewed five popular books on goal setting, sharing personal insights on what works, what could be better, and why these books are worth your time.

Whether you’re refining your productivity habits, seeking motivation, or looking to streamline your approach, this list has something for everyone. Let’s dive in, starting from my least favorite to the one I’d recommend above all others.

5. “Smarter Faster Better” by Charles Duhigg

What’s Great About It:

Charles Duhigg offers an engaging blend of research, storytelling, and practical advice to help readers understand productivity and goal-setting. The book emphasizes how connecting goals to personal purpose can drive motivation. Concepts like mental models, innovation, and decision-making are fascinating, especially if you’re a data-driven thinker or someone looking to optimize workflows.

Where It Fell Short:

While the insights are valuable, they often feel a little disjointed. The book tries to do a lot—covering productivity, decision-making, and teamwork—which can dilute the focus on goal-setting itself. If you’re looking for a more straightforward guide to setting and achieving goals, this might feel a bit broad.

Best For:

People interested in the psychology of productivity and how it relates to goal achievement.

Get it here.

4. “Goals!: How to Get Everything You Want—Faster Than You Ever Thought Possible” by Brian Tracy

What’s Great About It:

This book is a classic for a reason. Brian Tracy distills decades of wisdom into a practical guide that emphasizes the importance of clarity and detailed planning. His advice to write down your goals and break them into actionable steps is timeless and highly effective.

Where It Fell Short:

While the principles are sound, the tone can feel a bit dated, and some strategies—like visualization—are overemphasized without enough nuance. For a modern audience, the lack of integration with tools or systems like habit tracking apps feels like a missed opportunity.

Best For:

Anyone new to goal setting or looking for a foundational, no-frills guide to achieving success.

Get it here.

3. “The 12 Week Year” by Brian P. Moran and Michael Lennington

What’s Great About It:

The concept of breaking your year into 12-week cycles is a game-changer. It forces you to focus, eliminates procrastination, and brings a sense of urgency to your goals. The book’s actionable framework makes it easy to translate big ideas into immediate results, which is why I’ve found it effective for both personal and professional goals.

Where It Fell Short:

The rigid structure might not work for everyone. While I appreciate the system, it can feel overwhelming or too narrow for goals that require more flexibility or long-term planning. Additionally, the writing style leans heavily on corporate examples, which might not resonate with every reader.

Best For:

Go-getters who thrive under pressure and want a highly structured approach to goal setting.

Get it here.

2. “Your Best Year Ever” by Michael Hyatt

What’s Great About It:

Michael Hyatt’s book is a fantastic blend of mindset shifts and actionable advice. He tackles common barriers to success—like fear and limiting beliefs—and provides tools for creating SMARTER goals (specific, measurable, actionable, risk-driven, time-keyed, exciting, relevant). I especially loved how Hyatt encourages readers to define what success looks like on their terms.

Where It Fell Short:

While it’s an inspiring read, some parts of the book lean too heavily on anecdotes and could benefit from more data or research-based insights. Additionally, the advice on prioritization and focus is great, but it overlaps with other books like Atomic Habits in terms of habit-building concepts.

Best For:

Anyone who wants a balance between motivation and practical tools to set goals in all areas of life.

Get it here.

1. “Atomic Habits” by James Clear

Why It’s the Best:

This book isn’t just about goal setting—it’s about creating a system that makes achieving your goals inevitable. James Clear’s approach to building habits that align with your identity is revolutionary. By focusing on the small, consistent actions that compound over time, Atomic Habits teaches you how to create lasting change.

What I Loved:

Clear’s use of real-world examples and actionable strategies makes the book incredibly relatable and easy to implement. His concept of habit stacking is one of the most effective tools I’ve ever used to stay consistent with my goals. Unlike other books, Atomic Habits doesn’t rely on hype or motivation; it gives you a framework that works even when motivation wanes.

Any Downsides?

Honestly, I struggled to find flaws in this book. The only caveat is that it focuses more on habits than traditional goal-setting frameworks, so you might want to pair it with something like Your Best Year Ever for a more holistic approach.

Best For:

Anyone looking to transform their habits and create sustainable systems to achieve goals effortlessly.

Get it here.

Each of these books offers unique insights and approaches to goal setting, but not every book will resonate with every reader. My ranking reflects a balance between actionable advice, storytelling, and long-term applicability. For 2025, I’d recommend starting with Atomic Habits and layering on additional strategies from Your Best Year Ever or The 12 Week Year, depending on your needs.